My name is Nicholas Dreisbach.

Everybody I meet is an asshole.

Fuck. Everybody I meet is an
asshole.

Shit. Everybody I meet is an asshole.

Jesus Christ. Everybody I meet is
an asshole.

I am such a victim.

I meet assholes all the time.

Fuck this.

Shit that.

Jesus Christ some other thing.

I am so cool and grown up with
the way I spew innappropriate
language.

In fact, I enjoy writing foul
language on test papers, because
I think that it will impress my
lecturers, and bully them into
giving me a good grade. Even if
I do not know the answers to the
questions. Because they will all
think that I am so cool.

I also enjoy making incessant
crude comments to my so called
peers, like other students. They
think my crude languange and
sexualised comments to them are
so cool.

And you are an asshole if you
disagree.

I am a student at Massey University,
and I pay international fees,
because I am an American, which
makes me better than all of
my classmates. And makes me
better than you.

Because all of my classmates are
a bunch of assholes. And you
are an asshole, too.

I didn't like a grade that I
got from a lecturer named
Mary Nulsen, so I like to go
around and talk about how she
is an asshole.

I also didn't like a grade that I
got from a lecturer named
Jeong Park, so I like to go
around and talk about how he
is an asshole.

I don't like another student
named Jason Smith, because he
already got a degree, and is
moving on to postgrad, so I like
to go around and talk about how
he is an asshole.

If a lecturer named Jan Schmid
dares to give me a grade that I
do not like, then I will go around
talking about what an asshole
he is, too.

I also love to talk about how
veterinarians are all assholes,
because they are not real
doctors. Massey is a loser school,
because it has all those stupid
veterinary students.

I also love to talk about how I love
abusing my own family, including
my aunt, and my sister. Because
they are all assholes.

I like to start sentances with I, I, I,
and then explain how I, I, I,
think or want something. And
I, I, I, think that everbody is extremely
interested in what I, I, I, think and
want, and how I, I, I, think everybody
around me is a moron and an asshole.
See what I, I, I did there?

I demand that all of you provide
me with a spaceship, so that
I can fly away, and play some
videogames, and go to some other
planet, to get away from all of
you assholes.

My name is Nicholas Dreisbach,
and I demand help with my
problem, which is that everybody
around me is an asshole.

If you fail to cower down in fear,
and respect my authority, then
you are also an asshole. Just like
everyone I meet.

I hate you, because you are an asshole.

I demand a passing grade on all of
my exams, even if I do not know the
correct answers to the questions.
Because lecturers are assholes if they
fail me.

And because I am terrified of
crawling back to America, without
any degree, and with a hundred grand
US dollars in student loans. Which I
hope to evade by an unrealistic scheme
of converting it to a hundred grand of
credit cards, and then do bankruptcy
fraud. Which is a criminal offence.
Because I am so cool.

But I also hate being at Massey University,
because there are assholes everywhere
here!

I also demand that everybody bow
down and tell me how cool I am.
Because I am terrified of being a
loser dork. And you are an asshole.

I also demand a spaceship, so I
can go to another planet, and
get away from all the assholes
here, like you.

Sincerely,

Nicholas Dreisbach

nickdreisbach@gmail.com

Nick-Dreisbach@facebook.com

https://www.facebook.com/public/Nick-Dreisbach

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