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XPost: alt.politics.republicans, alt.fan.rush-limbaugh, talk.politics.guns From:
democrat-criminals@mail.house.gov
https://nypost.com/2021/02/04/exclusive-first-excerpt-from-hunter-bidens- new-memoir/
Yesterday it was revealed that Hunter Biden, the embattled son of
President Biden, will release a memoir in April called “Beautiful Things.”
But New York Post columnist Kyle Smith got an exclusive first look, thanks
to a draft he found on a laptop Computer abandoned in the Champagne room
at Ba-Da-Bing’s on Route 1 outside Wilmington, Del. Here, he shares with
us an exclusive excerpt from Chapter 1:
Some of you are wondering why I called this memoir “Beautiful Things”
instead of, say, “Ukrainian Business for Dummies,” or “Not the Good Son —
the Other One.” Some joker even told me I should have called it “Ten Easy
Ways to Secure Your Laptop” (No. 1: don’t go on a binge and forget you
left it in a repair shop for a year.)
Ha, ha! Inside joke. You probably don’t know what I’m talking about,
because Dad’s media team is also known as “the media.” They fixed it so
only one news organization in the country mentioned my laptop. Those jerks
at The Post should have known you don’t mess with the B Team. I mean, Team
B. I didn’t mean to suggest the Obamas were the A Team and that we’re this pathetic pile of janky political leftovers, like when you go in the carpet store and there’s this dusty corner marked “Remnants.” Sure, the last
First Lady is super-glamorous and hangs out with Beyoncé and went to
Harvard Law School and all that but — did you know my stepmom is a doctor?
Not the kind you can get a Vicodin prescription from, unfortunately. (I
asked.)
I’m calling this book “Beautiful Things” because I’ve wised up. I’m no
longer a 30-year old scoundrel, coke fiend and influence peddler. Now that
I’m a 51-year-old scoundrel and influence peddler, I’ve learned to
appreciate some of the finer things. Yes, smoking crack and knocking up strippers have their place in my heart, but these days beauty is something that’s become more important. Have you ever seen a 2.8-carat diamond
that’s worth $80,000? Really sparkly. It’s a Beautiful Thing.
So is my friendship with the man who gave it to me, a Chinese tycoon named
Ye Jianming. Only haters don’t get that friendship is a Beautiful Thing!
Ye ran an energy company. I don’t know that much about energy, but I know
a lot about juice, if you know what I mean. My dad was about to launch his presidential campaign. This made me very popular with Chinese businessmen.
“Yo, Ye!” I used to say. It was a bro thing we had, joking around and
stuff. He’d say, “Yo, for-sale son!” His English wasn’t that great.
Say, whatever happened to my old buddy Ye? Google says Ye, “who had ties
to the Chinese military and intelligence services, was the chairman of
CEFC until he disappeared after being taken into custody by Chinese
authorities in early 2018.” Well now. I definitely would never take a
diamond the size of a baseball from a corrupt Chinese spy. In fact, now
that I think about it, I didn’t know that guy AT ALL. [Stacey please
redact before publication, thanks — H.]
Some people ask me: Hunter, having been dishonorably discharged from the military and not having any relevant experience, how did you land a high
paying job on the board of a foreign company? Turns out I didn’t have to mention to those guys that Dad was vice president. They knew already! As
the song goes, “I got a name, and I carry it with me like my daddy did.”
[Stacey, insert disclaimer from Legal about how Dad definitely never knew
about any of this stuff — H.] Getting hundreds of thousands of dollars
from Ukrainian energy companies while Dad was veep and point man for
Ukrainian policy: Now that’s what I call a Beautiful Thing.
--
"LOCKDOWN", left-wing COVID fearmongering. 95% of COVID infections
recover with no after effects.
No collusion - Special Counsel Robert Swan Mueller III, March 2019.
Officially made Nancy Pelosi a two-time impeachment loser.
Donald J. Trump, cheated out of a second term by fraudulent "mail-in"
ballots. Report voter fraud:
sf.nancy@mail.house.gov
Thank you for cleaning up the disaster of the 2008-2017 Obama / Biden
fiasco, President Trump.
Under Barack Obama's leadership, the United States of America became the
The World According To Garp. Obama sold out heterosexuals for Hollywood
queer liberal democrat donors.
President Trump boosted the economy, reduced illegal invasions, appointed dozens of judges and three SCOTUS justices.
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: www.darkrealms.ca (1:229/2)