From: ibshambat@gmail.com

There were any number of women who were attracted to me for my writing. One was a very beautiful – and highly accomplished – woman named Lisbeth, who descended from Mary Queen of Scotts. She was a rocker when she was younger – a good one – and
then she and her husband went into management. For a long time they lived traditional Christian lifestyle. Then she started seeking, and one of the things that she found was me.

There was another woman named Kat, who was about my age. She lived in Tucson and was an art student. She had been paralyzed from waist down in a car accident. She saw herself as an “ugly, malignant thing.” I did not share that view.

There were some magnificent things going on. When I was talking to Lisbeth over the phone, I could see white spots hovering in the sky with absolute peace and beauty. My younger brother tried to get me to go inside, so I told Lisbeth about that and said
that I was working for a slightly higher authority. She was torn between her ethics and her desire. I ended up seeing her in person, and it was a beautiful experience. We went to the park and walked through streams and climbed trees. She ended up
choosing her husband and her family, and she and I remain good friends.

Then I boarded the bus for Tucson. Kat did not have a place for me to stay, so I wound up on the street. I was on the street in Tucson for two months. It was not a bad experience. The climate there is quite forgiving, and I did not have to fear for my
life.

I met a number of interesting people. One was a lady named Hayley, who came from Kansas and had a lot of spiritual knowledge. She had had people trying to rape her and kill her; she also had respect of a number of people, including her boyfriend, who was
significantly older than us and was running a major shop in Tucson.

She went on a date with a man named Noah, and the next day her apartment flooded. She had a friend named Cammie, a young Native American woman who was very creative and very spirituality knowledgeable. She shared a house with a woman named April, who had
had her leg taken off by a train after her boyfriend left her. I called her Dido, and she said that if he were to meet her she would probably do just what Dido did when Aeneas visited her: Say nothing.

I was getting visualizations of a Gordian knot wound around souls. I was talking about there being a way to untie the Gordian knot by “man's wits guided by man's desire.” The wits by itself will fail to correctly locate the center. The desire by
itself will not know how to correctly untie the knot. Combine the two, and it is possible to untie the Gordian Knot, and there is no need for the sword.

I wound up living on a diet of grapefruits and prickly pear cactuses. I was going from one place to another while having all sorts of amazing experiences. At one point I was swinging off of rungs, and two hummingbirds hovered before me.

Some of Hayley's friends were nice, and some others were quite nasty. There was a young man named Eric who radiated compassion and wisdom. He was with a young woman who, when I told her something, said, “We all run around and suppose, Illy sits in the
middle and knows.” She had a friend named Peter who had been severely disappointed in relationships. He was saying that the nerve center responsible for such things should be cut.

I had a vision of a shark. Next day April told me that during the same time she and her friends had been discussing sharks.

When Hayley believed that she had been possessed by witches, she called Scott Stanley, the head of the Tucson Castaneda chapter. Scott was very well-off, and one day he invited me for breakfast. He looked at my astrology chart and said that I was
completely unrealistic, that I had an awkward personality, and that I had a strange relationship with my mother. That however was not the important part. He was talking about how on some days he would see many white cars, and that there was a meaning to
that. He also did a story about 300 people a year dying in the no-man's land that was the highway between America and Mexico. He could not get that story into the papers, so I advised him to try getting it in Le Monde.

Hayley's boyfriend was telling me that the situation was simple. He said that a guru had told him that you look for answers, and you get them. I do not know if that is correct; clearly that person was a guru and was in the business of giving answers.
There will always be people with such aspirations. They include the aforementioned guru; they also include any number of others.

But the most interesting set of people I met in Tucson were a part of an artist collective called the Solar Culture. Its head is a gentleman named Steven Eye. He created a center next to the railroad station that constantly hosts art exhibitions and
music performances. He and his volunteers were very welcoming to me and to many others. He was at that time with a young woman named Joy, and they in addition to running the center kept going to the deserts for spirit questing. He is no longer with Joy;
he is married to a woman his age from Poland. If it is true, as some claim, that relationships are about equality, then he has made the right choice.

Kat and I had a lot of fun. We would have sex outside of a convent and say such things as “we are creating reality.” She kept talking to me about how diminutive I was. One day we were in an alley, and I called her “alley Kat.”

She had an analytical frame of mind. The more she analyzed, the more she found wrong in my structure. She was talking about how she had had a boyfriend who was an asshole and knew that he was an asshole, whereas according to her I was an asshole but had
ideals. She gave me a copy of “The Crow” comic book. She had complete hatred for established religion; but she believed that she was very honorable and that others should be as well. I once told her a white lie to protect her feelings, and since then
she labeled me a liar.


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