From:
slider@atashram.com
, slider wrote:
### - got out the wrong side of the bed today or summat? (smile) :)
no, same as it ever was, woke up feelin' just fine.
it's no good shoutin' at moi lol, it's all your own fault ya know...
no one is shoutin' at you, stating my position, that's all.
do the work and get the WILDs that's what it's all about, and i think
you
know that by now?
sounds a little redundant by now chapie.
### - try washing your ears out then maybe? lol (coz am sayin' it but you
ain't hearin' it)
(and just to annoy ya) cc gots another one right there as it goes: that
we
have an odious tendency to stop and 'congratulate' ourselves for having
covered so much ground?? (damn right)
well so far it don't look like i've covered much ground, i'm not exactly taking a victory lap here.
### - everytime you have a WILD you're shouting about it and how cool it
was, and even onetime afterwards: "i can WILD like a sob now!" remember
that? (really laffing coz you did actually said that, and then took a
month off LOL)
you had a good WILD only last week ffs! and what did you do afterwards??
nada!
what was i suppose to do? Write a nubbie book or something ?
### - charming! maybe if you'd experienced it the same way i did you might have! assuming you didn't have a month off after writing every paragraph
that is lol (relax am just kidding lol, not!) haha :D
you had a couple of weeks off ffs lol instead of following-up like a sob
:)))
Lucidity comes when it comes, wtf, do you think i can will it ?
### - YES ffs! YES!!! thats' what it's really all about! MAKING it happen because we CAN!
else you can sit around waiting all your life and never even see it lol
(which is precisely what everyone has literally done with it already!)
none of this is a 'mystery' matie, relaxing involves actually 'doing'
something about 'trying' to relax just enough to feel some kinda (any!)
change in your body, nada fancy required! a child could do it!
you know ole uncle chrissy has been around the block more than a few
times, i'm gonna bet we got something happenin' here that just ain't
exactly clear. There's a detail in here that ain't showin'.
### - you obviously just have a blind spot is all, you been like this all
along innit; not understanding, and then even succeeding, several times,
and STILL not understanding?
it's like you been to france now several times but can't ever remember how
ya gots there?
imho, dilds have given you that blind spot, you're so
dild-inclined/ingrained that you tend to treat WILDs in the same manner
and expect them to just come to ya outta the blue without having to 'do' anything to kick them off... and that's a very bad habit when it comes to WILDing because WILDs are literally the opposite to dilds in how ya go
about 'em!
plus you've done all this before? several times! you know 'exactly'
what's
involved AND HOW to do it!
you know that if you don't hit the 'gaga' that jack shit is gonna happen. That is the usher that takes you to dreaming. Prove me wrong ?
### - that's only for dilds ya twit lol, whereas we take 'ourselves' into
a WILD (i.e., if ya don't do it deliberately like that ya only gets a
false awakening instead heh, an accidental WILD)
no one can now teach you any more 'coz you've actually learned - in
practice - the whole thing from beginning to end... oh for sure you
fumbled your way through it with only half-hearted attempts all along
Half-hearted? No fucking way, there's been nothing that is half-hearted here. How can i be half-hearted? Maybe half-assed but not
half-hearted.
OK, now i am approaching being offended. j/k
### - (i 'am' actually trying to get under that skin of your just a tad
heh...)
stir things up a bit because you're so goddamn complacent it's scary hah
:)))
instead of the prolonged + deliberately persistent attempt that's
required, and even SO you STILL managed to get a few decent WILDs out of
it?? you still dunno how you feckin' did yet is all lol, but you DID do
it! several times!
i want to go deeper. So far ain't much to write home about.
I got a taste yeah, but i want to open the throttle wider.
### - shall i quote your last report? it makes for great reading :)
"Yes, last night i hit the jackpot. I was about to totally give up late
this morning. And then i saw something. I watched and watched. My eyes
were spinning around like a slot machine. I'm watching this go about and i can't believe my eyes. I'm wide awake with my eyes closed and i finally
have some activity showing up. Then the whole room turned to a color like ground up chocolate chip ice cream. That's about the best way i could
describe it. The whole field was a solid color of this consistency. Went
on for a good spell before the dream ended. Ok, now i'm getting my money's worth out of doing this. And yes i woke up this morning with a fantastic feeling. Much like how one feels after a series of lucid dreams. Nice,
real nice. This is definitely a different dream show than a dild."
see what i mean bud? you knew ALL about it at the time and then took a fortnight off?:)))
and because only a few days later you were going-on about 'waiting' for
a
WILD again?? (waiting??) when you know damn well that's NOT how it
works!
(and i then spelled that out which is why you prolly got the nark with
me
now haha)
don't be so defensive, there's no fight here. You know where the fight
is.
what you NEED to do matie is think (and i mean REALLY think!) about the
the last WILDs you've had!
Fuck it just came after 'being' relaxed. I hit the right note, that's
all.
### - you've hit the right note several times already but mostly by luck, apparently, heh...
you're just lacking in the first part/stage because you never really
thought to bother with that part enough to get it right, it'll all just 'happen' you thinks and lol it did, several times even! (pure intending!)
but it's not WILDing proper until you deliberately initiate it and can successfully repeat the exercise...
examine your experiences in minute detail because ALL your own answers
are
contained therein! ALL of 'em! how you did it, why it worked + how to do
it again!
would i be going on and on with this if i knew that ?
### - some part of you knows it for sure but you love to play silly
buggers and pretend you don't understand instead of just tearing it to
pieces until you DO understand? (sorry to be so direct heh)
after your last one, you should have followed that right up the next day
and every day after that until you got another, and then another, and
then, when you're sure you really do get it now, then (and only then)
can
you ease-off some because you've MADE it your own! (you've already made
it
your own actually but just haven't 'claimed' it yet... and you wont
claim
it by hangin' around 'waiting' for shit to happen lol)
there's nada more i can tell you that you don't already fully know!
ok coach, go back in the clubhouse and have a beer then .
### - don't tempt me lol :)))
my suggestion (if you can bear it heh) is to simply start again from
scratch (it's only 2 weeks and likely far less now for you because
you've
actually experienced the whole process anyway + part of that 2 weeks is
in
initially coming around to understanding the process in the first place
and you've already done far more than that...)
yes. perhaps i need this argument to push me over the edge here?
the door doesn't open until you bang on it really loud. (lol!)
### - not so much 'loud' as persistently?
like several times in a row persistently! :)))
as in 'knowing' you can do this (because you already have several times)
and being determined to not let go until it yields up the dream bucks
right into your hand!
and it's no good blaming me, or the technique, because you've already
proved (to yourself several times over) that's it real and 'can' work, and
so now you know that it's entirely up to you to go claim all that for
yourself and stop bellyaching about it and blaming anything except
yourself :)
start over like you never even did it before, put aside all your
preconceptions and just concentrate on what you DO know because you have
the experience itself to refer to, ok?
Batting coach to the player: "how do i hit the ball coach"?
you swing the bat and see the ball going over the wall.
### - you open your goddamn eyes and keep you eyes on the friggin' ball is
all that's required haha... you're trying to do it by 'feel' and that
ain't ever gonna work...
lay there and remember what you did, get every fuckin' detail of it,
replay it over and over until something clicks and then fuckin' ACT on
it
immediately, and if/when walking that tightrope you fall asleep (fell
off
haha) don't bother acting like you're pissed or whatever, just get-on
with
it the next night from where you left off...
well Cochise that's usually want i do.
### - ALL the answers are in your own experiences of it and what you did +
how it happened
do a journey of recovery first (cc) as it's important to 'remember' doing
it before doing it again...
iow: you gots to stop feckin' about Chris! this isn't something you can
do
part-time every now and again having a couple of days going at it and
then
leaving it again for a month lol! that's bs!
i get many shots at this every night. I wake up at all hours. To me
it's just another chance to enter into another dream.
### - and that's correct! so change one small part of it then?
be inventive, get creative, pump up the volume heh :)
you KNOW you can do this! it's obviously not a completely conscious
thing
with you yet is all, but imho that's because you haven't 'really' been
going about this is the manner suggested & required to really MAKE it
your
own...
So i have been 'doing my best', really, nothing less than that.
### - don't agree here, i seen ya slackin' lol, wearing that warm
post-WILD glow and spendin' it on crap and on admiring yourself instead of trying for another one straight away? (true)
ya can't fool me ya know lol ;)
(gets pissy when he don't gets what he wants heh? ahaha :)))
I'm actually trying to have fun doing this, nothing mean is intended
here.
Peace & love, peace & love, etc etc. I sound like fuckin' Ringo. :)
### - well it's a little mystery for you to solve then eh? (maybe ya likes mysteries or summat huh)
you 'know' you know how to do it (couldn't have done it several times otherwise!) so how to 'retrieve' that information which you've now hidden
from yourself again coz ya left it too long...
i suggest getting into bed, relaxing just a bit, and then instead of
trying anything else, calling up the memories of your last trip out that
you wrote so eloquently about above?
just replay it over & over until something yields and maybe you'll see
your mistake ok?
and if/when ya fall asleep just try again the very next chance ya gots
too...
and keep doing that until summat changes...
i dunno, maybe you DO have to bang that door down or summat lol :)))
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