From:
slider@anashram.com
the man with the iron claw wrote... ;)
so describe in detail what happens so far when you try to relax, how
does
it go for you?
how far do you get/what happens?
seems like everything just goes dark.
i can relax, feel at ease but not much
goes on. I just patiently wait for the
lights to come on (so to speak), you know
waiting for the movie to begin. I guess
eventually i doze off to sleep land. However
when and if i wake up in the night i do another
round of this relaxing and focusing quietly.
Not much results, what the hell is wrong with me?
### - you're screwed LOL :)))
nah seriously, so no hypnagogia eh?
ok, plus can understand now why you inquired about meditation too, seein'
as when you tried to meditate you saw some hypnagogia (a green door one
time and then a hole letting you see the sky etc etc...)
reminds too of a dude on fb who's seriously meditated for more than 30
years and who's even written books on the subject of awareness &
enlightenment, who claimed his problem was with his mind that had become
so trained via meditation to utterly destroy all illusions (his own words) thus, when, like you he tried to see hypnagogia, his mind wouldn't allow
it and so all he ever saw was darkness... his mind, he claimed, was now
too disciplined to ever allow it (curious problem!)
however, being the disciplined person he is, he persisted determined to
succeed and started getting some strange unusual effects... for instance,
at one point he began to see what he called his 'imagination' of a vague
scene with himself in it! no hypnagogia as such before that or leading up
to it, just some scene that seemed quite far away, oddly enough starring himself wandering around in it too... none of us knew wtf he was talking
about really heh, but he apparently was getting something like this fairly regularly... eventually, one day he said he was kinda examining these
'scenes' (all of which appeared to be kinda far away/too at arms length to access) when he said he experienced a feeling of 'backing-up some' (as
though he drew back a bit?) and then all the hypnagogia appeared in 'all
their glory' (again his worlds) which i assumed he meant in greater detail
and vivid colour as opposed to looking more wishy-washy and seen as though
from a distance...
he'd been trying to MAKE it happen! and perhaps that was the problem?
ya have to... let go?
he'd been trying too hard!
after that, all he had to do was to get to the imagination-movies kinda
thing, deliberately back-up some, and bingo! hypnagogia like never before! vivid and sharp enough to access in the usual manner!
ultimately, i accredited him with perhaps having found another 'route'
into WILDing, although i dunno if that's actually true and that all it was
is that he was somehow deliberately holding himself in the wrong place to
ever get to see any decent stuff... his cultivated 'grip' on reality was
too strong to ever allow it?
suggestion: get to the place where you felt relaxed & comfy enough, and
then try to visualise/remember that green door and/or that hole in the
ceiling that let you see through to the sky that time... and because
whatever you 'thought' they were, they were actually only vivid hypnagogia!
that merely by 'wanting' to repeat the experience (of seeing that green door/sky etc) you may then be able to place yourself more correctly (in awareness) to see more of it...
perhaps even just remembering your first inadvertent WILD on here that
time (no seeming transition phase involved, you were suddenly just in one looking around!) and/or merely by, for example, remembering your vivid bath-time experience more recently, you'll get-over whatever it is that's
been delaying you...
having done it several times now you know you 'can' WILD no problem! so
that's not the prob, plus maybe it's something to do with having learned
to dild first? (that dude had also been dilding previously on occasion
too!) who knows! dildo-rehab may indeed have to become a reality LOL, they spoils ya for life mate! (kinda thing...) in truth beginners have far less problems with this! :)
oddly enough, you report (above) going into sleep without seeing ANY
hypnagogia too? like your mind filters them completely out (or even just
the memory of them) even though ya HAVE to actually see some or ya
wouldn't be able to even GO to sleep at all!
best suggestion really, is to wait until you 'start' to actually feel a 'little' sleepy and look for some hypnagogia then... remembering having
seen them before (as in that green door/sky etc) even to deliberately visualising them in order to start/kick them off!
you'll have to play around with this somewhat, trying different things to
alter (slightly) the place you keep otherwise ending up in with that
rather strong mind of yours...
ya gots to LET GO bud! :)
LET THE FUCK GO! (laffing...)
and seein' as ya don't really 'know' how you're hangin' on exactly; you'll
have to experiment a bit once you're relaxed enough, until it yields up
the goodies!
personally, i don't think you're relaxing enough/properly etc?
you're not getting to the point where your bod feels
strange/inflated/larger whatever?
poor old chris; hypnagogia-less in good 'ole cali-forn-i-A? (grinz...)
ok... for real + all laffing aside... try the second method for relaxing
then yeah?
start atcha feet and work up block by block (feet, then ankles to knees,
knees to hips, hips to shoulders, shoulders to the top of your head - 5
blocks - slowly doing the long breath out as you LET GO! (smile) all the tension in those areas one at a time! paying particular attention to
around the shoulders, neck & head area doing it several times, letting any residue muscle tension fall away down into your pillow, bed and floor with
a mild sensation every time of descending in an elevator AS you breath
out...
that should do it alright heh... plus, by the time ya reach your neck &
head area, you should already be noticing/feeling that slightly expanded feeling in your body (i aways feel/notice it first in my forearms and
hands for some reason...)
when you've worked your way through all 5 blocks (am only suggesting 5,
you could make it more/less if ya want) do one last block as the whole
body altogether... as you breath slowly in you can feel your body tense up slightly, hold it for a few moments and let it slowly out, your whole body falling as you let all/any tension go down through the bed and down into
the floor... then letting it breath how it wants for a while...
IF ya DON'T feel slightly different (in your body) by then, then there's
summat wrong with ya!
(really laffing hehehe...)
after doing all that 'relaxing' (heh) it's prolly safe to assume you're
now IN the right place, in which case, if there's no hypnagogia, calling
up the 'memory' of having seen some before should be enough to getcher
rolling heh...
thinks am gonna can ya 'the iron claw' from now on k? hahaha
has a grip on reality like iron!
so let the fuck GO will ya?? :)
(that's just my pulling your pisser is all btw, you can achieve it all by relaxing more correctly, and feeling slightly differently in the bod while doing it is the sure sign of it...)
you said you felt 'relaxed' in that bath... remember?
you can do it; you've just never really relaxed quite so 'deliberately'
before!
let me know what happens ok? plus good luck!
teething problems! :)
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: www.darkrealms.ca (1:229/2)