From: mortifis@ALLEYCAT.remove-9oj-this

To: Daryl Stout

þ OLX 1.53 þ "Farfrompoopin'" - German word for constipation.

LOL

2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 left turns will get you back on the freeway!

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From: tony.langdon@3:633/410.remove-u9b-this

To: Daryl Stout

On 02-22-19 13:24, Daryl Stout wrote to TONY LANGDON <=-

Tony,

Haha friendly shit stirring can be fun. ;)

Especially if you work at a place that analyzes all the stool samples sent it. :P

Hahaha, now you really are talking shit. :P


... Helicopters can't really fly, they are so ugly the earth repels them.
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From: daryl.stout@1:19/33.remove-xjk-this

To: TONY LANGDON
Tony,

Haha friendly shit stirring can be fun. ;)

Especially if you work at a place that analyzes all the stool samples sent it. :P

Hahaha, now you really are talking shit. :P

In one of the message areas (and information doors) on the BBS, which
are both entitled "The Doctor Is In", there is an article on "The Scoop
on Poop".

Now, years ago, folks would talk about their bowel and bladder habits,
and not say a word about sex...now, it's the other way around!!

Yet, colon cancer is the second greatest killer right behind (no pun intended) heart disease and breast cancer...but unlike most cancers,
it's also one of the most preventable.

Admittedly, the prep work is a PITA (especially if you have hemorrhoids...part of having a job where you sit for a long period of
time, such as an OTR Truck Driver, or from women having babies), but I'd
rather know they caught something early, or found benign polyps, but no
cancer (which has been the case with me several times)...rather than to
go in and find out "you only have 2 weeks left to live".

Now, if I could convert the flatulence afterwards to fuel for the
vehicle, I'd buy a few palates of Bush's Baked Beans, get the secret
formula from Duke (or whoever will play him now...the original one
passed away), and tell OPEC what they could do with their gas
prices...which jumped 15 cents a gallon here the other day!!

Daryl

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From: tony.langdon@3:633/410.remove-x4r-this

To: Daryl Stout

On 02-26-19 11:32, Daryl Stout wrote to TONY LANGDON <=-

Yet, colon cancer is the second greatest killer right behind (no pun intended) heart disease and breast cancer...but unlike most cancers,
it's also one of the most preventable.

Yeah the government here is trying to screen as many over 50s as possible, to increase the rate of early detection. They send out home sampling kits when you turn 50 and at regular intervals after that.

Now, if I could convert the flatulence afterwards to fuel for the vehicle, I'd buy a few palates of Bush's Baked Beans, get the secret formula from Duke (or whoever will play him now...the original one
passed away), and tell OPEC what they could do with their gas prices...which jumped 15 cents a gallon here the other day!!

LOL


... Mind... Mind... Let's see, I had one of those around here someplace.
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From: poindexter.fortran@REALITY.remove-1dd-this

To: Daryl Stout
Re: Re: $h!+ Stirring
By: Daryl Stout to TONY LANGDON on Tue Feb 26 2019 11:32 am

Now, years ago, folks would talk about their bowel and bladder habits,
and not say a word about sex...now, it's the other way around!!

Jamie Lee Curtis was on a podcast recently, where when talking about her career she mentioned becoming spokesman for a yogurt "that helps you poop".

She said it made her a decent income and allowed her to be home with her kids, but she didn't expect people to stop her on the street and tell her about their poop and how the yogurt had helped...

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From: daryl.stout@1:19/33.remove-wpd-this

To: POINDEXTER FORTRAN

Jamie Lee Curtis was on a podcast recently, where when talking about her car PF>she mentioned becoming spokesman for a yogurt "that helps you poop".

She said it made her a decent income and allowed her to be home with her kid PF>but she didn't expect people to stop her on the street and tell her about th PF>poop and how the yogurt had helped...

I missed that one. But, I understand that eating a large amount of
Rama Noodles will "constipate you like morphine, etc. does".

A friend of mine's 2 daughters did just that years ago, and with them
in severe pain, he took them to the Emergency Room. They told him "Your daughters are full of $h!+"...and he said "I'd go in the bathroom, and
the toilet had a turd as big as a battleship!!". :P Several months back,
I saw a picture on Facebook, where a Rama Noodles truck crashed, and
lost its load. I tagged him in the photo, and added "And you know why".

He replied "My daughters will be absolutely heartbroken". <G>

Daryl

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From: daryl.stout@1:19/33.remove-wpd-this

To: TONY LANGDON
Tony,

Yeah the government here is trying to screen as many over 50s as possible, t TL>increase the rate of early detection. They send out home sampling kits when TL>you turn 50 and at regular intervals after that.

They don't do that here...but once you turn 50, the doctors start
"pushing the need to have one". When I had my last one, an elderly woman
in her mid 80's, was having her first one done. The gastrointerologist
was obviously rather annoyed with her for waiting so long.

Now, if I could convert the flatulence afterwards to fuel for the vehicle, I'd buy a few palates of Bush's Baked Beans, get the secret formula from Duke (or whoever will play him now...the original one passed away), and tell OPEC what they could do with their gas prices...which jumped 15 cents a gallon here the other day!!

LOL

Or like comedians Jeff Foxworthy, and Bill Engvall's reactions were
after a colonoscopy:

Jeff: "I went to career day in high school. Nobody told me that you
could get paid good money for rating farts on a clipboard. I've got
friends who'll do that all the time for free. But, she (the nurse,
standing there with a pen and a clipboard) wants me to do this, and I
need to do this. But, I was raised in the South...and my Momma taught me
never to do that in front of a woman, especially in front of a woman you
don't know".

So he says "I lock up", and the nurse has him "get on all fours in the
bed, and he said as soon as he "assumed the position", he knew it'd
work. He thought back to his wife's LaMaz (sp?) classes, and the "big push"...adding "What came out of me, was so loud, and so long, that Fred Flintstone clocked out of work!!".

He asked the nurse "May I go home now??", and she replied "Please
do!!". :P

Bill Engvall: He quietly asked his wife if he farted (like the chorus of frogs), and she replied "Like a beached whale!!". :P

He said "We're not talking about ''Little Johnny squeezed out a toot
fart!! We're talking about bullfrogs being run over by a Mack Truck. Disgusting!!".

I knew a guy who had eaten chili dogs and pinto beans for dinner
before a basketball game. He was definitely part of "the wind section".

Daryl

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From: tony.langdon@3:633/410.remove-1mg-this

To: Daryl Stout

On 02-28-19 01:37, Daryl Stout wrote to TONY LANGDON <=-

Or like comedians Jeff Foxworthy, and Bill Engvall's reactions were after a colonoscopy:

LOL :D


... Too many pray for peace with their fists clenched.
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