I've had my BBS down for a couple of days for family reasons and aggravations
.

But a brief update, my family had my dad's funeral Mass yesterday. I'm not particularly religious myself, but it was a nice ceremony. My dad wasn't particularly religious when I was growing up, but he eventually joined my
mom's Catholic faith about 20 years or so ago. He was very involved in choir and music, so I think he would have approved.

One of my dad's brother's that still lives in Kansas didn't come, but he
wasn't expected. He has his own health issues, and more or less cut the
fammily out of his life years ago.

He also has a younger half-brother that's a few years younger than I am, that lives here in the Houston area that didn't come, but for a different reason. He's even a bigger introvert than I am, and gets panic attacks in social gatherings worse than I do, and I was pushing my limit, so I can understand. He did at least call and express his condolences.

The shocker, at least to me, was my youngest brother. As I might have mentioned, I haven't really seen my family, or spoken with them, outside of occasional text messages or Facebook messages in several years. This was nothing to do with any bad feelings, just me isolating myself while dealing with my own issues, which is actually pretty common on my dad's side of the family. But apparently, my youngest brother has taken it to the extreme and cut off contact entirely with everyone, going as far as hanging up on my
family member who called him to let him know about our dad.


My father was creamated, as he wished. Now we are having fun dealing with the VA. He was a Vietnam vet, and we're trying to get his remains interred at
the VA National cemetary here in Houston. So trying to get a copy of his Discharge paperwork has been a mess. We can't find anything using his Social security number, but speaking with someone on the phone they coukd find him, but there's a discinnect in the system. So we have to wait on the death certificate and mail them a copy of it to get the military records, then get with the VA cemetary.

That's taken me and family here, as well as my mom's brother in another part
of Texas going through the VA near him.

All of this occured very quickly, so no doubt we are all dealing with shock
as well. The beginng of February, the found 3 spots of cancer in his body,
and a week and a half ago it had spread everywhere.

Between that, and my having nearly lost my wife in November during surgery to remove her kidney due to cancer. I'm surprised that I haven't just shut down.

--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A46 2020/08/26 (Raspberry Pi/32)
* Origin: theoasisbbs.ddns.net:1357

Between that, and my having nearly lost my wife in November during
surgery to remove her kidney due to cancer. I'm surprised that I haven't just shut down.

Yea, Barmed... I felt for you when news of your Dad came out last week... thats so tough, and while every family is different they're really all the same. Those who chose not to come will deal with that, in their ways... some in heavier ways than others. I hope his service was consolation to YOU. I hope you were able to get out of it what you needed, and am sorry that others in your family didn't or couldn't choose to come together to support each other.

You wrote some silly line at the top about having your BBS down for a day or three because of all this... and don't worry, at all, dude. Jeez. I mean, sure, we're hoping to get users/sysOps who commit to the BBS community - but make no mistake this is a hobby and it should remain as such for you, too. Don't ever 'keep a BBS up' for others - do it because you love them. Or not. But don't worry about yours, right now - you just went through something way bigger than any of our boards.

I hope you continue to work thru the loss of your Dad.. it must be a hard thing.

Godspeed.



|07p|15AULIE|1142|07o
|08.........

--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A47 2021/01/26 (Raspberry Pi/32)
* Origin: 2o fOr beeRS bbs>>>20ForBeers.com:1337 (21:2/150)

BY: Barmed(21:4/100)


|11B|09> |10But a brief update, my family had my dad's funeral Mass yesterday. I'm|07
|11B|09> |10not|07
|11B|09> |10particularly religious myself, but it was a nice ceremony. My dad wasn't|07
I had a funeral mass when my mother died. I ended up crying for 20 minutes straight when I was 12.


--- WWIV 5.7.0.3464
* Origin: inland utopia * socal usa * iutopia.duckdns.org:2023 (21:4/108)

On 16 Mar 2021 at 05:34a, Barmed pondered and said...

I've had my BBS down for a couple of days for family reasons and aggravations .

I have days and sometimes weeks away for all sorts of reasons. There are
times I'd like to play and can't on BBS due to other demands of life and
there are times when I can play but don't feel like doing so. Ah the joys.
All of which is to say no stress on if the BBS is up/down you run it for your own fun at your own pace.

wasn't particularly religious when I was growing up, but he eventually joined my mom's Catholic faith about 20 years or so ago. He was very involved in choir and music, so I think he would have approved.

Sounds like it went well and was in the tone that your Dad would have thought good. Well done.

One of my dad's brother's that still lives in Kansas didn't come, but he wasn't expected. He has his own health issues, and more or less cut the fammily out of his life years ago.

People can choose to do that. Beats me as to why but each to their own.

different reason. He's even a bigger introvert than I am, and gets panic attacks in social gatherings worse than I do, and I was pushing my
limit, so I can understand. He did at least call and express his condolences.

That's nice of him to have called and given his panic attacks a great way to touch base and pass on his thoughts to you all.

mentioned, I haven't really seen my family, or spoken with them, outside of occasional text messages or Facebook messages in several years. This was nothing to do with any bad feelings, just me isolating myself while dealing with my own issues, which is actually pretty common on my dad's side of the family. But apparently, my youngest brother has taken it to the extreme and cut off contact entirely with everyone, going as far as hanging up on my family member who called him to let him know about our dad.

wow. Hard to say what's up there but as you say it may be just something he feels he needs to do to deal with the stuff he's dealing with etc. I hope sometime down the track you guys can connect again. I suppose if you wanted
to you could always write to him as one way of making some contact. But it
all comes down to if he wants to read it / reply I guess.

interred at the VA National cemetary here in Houston. So trying to get a copy of his Discharge paperwork has been a mess. We can't find anything using his Social security number, but speaking with someone on the phone they coukd find him, but there's a discinnect in the system. So we have

There will be records somewhere. I hope once you find a helpful person in the system you'll be able to make some quick progress there. best of luck!

All of this occured very quickly, so no doubt we are all dealing with shock as well. The beginng of February, the found 3 spots of cancer in his body, and a week and a half ago it had spread everywhere.

Between that, and my having nearly lost my wife in November during
surgery to remove her kidney due to cancer. I'm surprised that I haven't just shut down.

The fact you can express how you're doing in writing so candidly and honestly is very positive things. Just take it day at a time and know it's a
roller coaster ride at times. Emotion comes out of no where at times and
that's fine too.

I've had my share of that recently visiting my parents and seeing my mum (particularly) looking very frail and unwell. It's unsettling and caught me
by suprise (emotionally) at times. Which was also fine :) but nonetheless a rocky ride.

So go gently good sir, my thoughts (and others reading I'm sure too) are with you during this stressy time.

--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A46 2020/08/26 (Windows/32)
* Origin: Agency BBS | Dunedin, New Zealand | agency.bbs.nz (21:1/101)

On 16 Mar 2021, paulie420 said the following...

Yea, Barmed... I felt for you when news of your Dad came out last
week... thats
so tough, and while every family is different they're really all the
same. Those who chose not to come will deal with that, in their ways... some in heavier ways than others. I hope his service was consolation to YOU. I hope you
were able to get out of it what you needed, and am sorry that others in your family didn't or couldn't choose to come together to support each other.

With the exception of my youngest brother, the family I expected to come did. My one uncle with the anxiety issues like I have I didn't really expect.. I fought down several panic attacks myself that day.

You wrote some silly line at the top about having your BBS down for a
day or three because of all this... and don't worry, at all, dude. Jeez.
I mean, sure,
we're hoping to get users/sysOps who commit to the BBS community - but make no mistake this is a hobby and it should remain as such for you,
too. Don't ever 'keep a BBS up' for others - do it because you love
them. Or not. But don't worry about yours, right now - you just went through something way bigger than any of our boards.

I know that it's understandable. but I know that to be perfectly honest, if I could figure out how to automate the DNS address update while I'm on the
mobile data, I probably would have left the BBS up. But I'm having
diffiiculty finding software to do so in a Linux terminal. Everything seems
to want a GUI these days.

--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A46 2020/08/26 (Raspberry Pi/32)
* Origin: theoasisbbs.ddns.net:1357

On 16 Mar 2021, Utopian Galt said the following...

But a brief update, my family had my dad's funeral Mass yesterday.

I'm

not
particularly religious myself, but it was a nice ceremony. My dad

wasn't
I had a funeral mass when my mother died. I ended up crying for 20
minutes straight when I was 12.

I haven't really cried yet. during the Mass, I was focused on one of my
nieces. One of my brothers has 3 daughters, two of which are autistic.One is severely so, non verbal. She hasn't seen me since she was an infant. now
she's about 8 years old, and she kept turning towards ,e and grabbing my
hands.

--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A46 2020/08/26 (Raspberry Pi/32)
* Origin: theoasisbbs.ddns.net:1357

One day at a time....

--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A47 2021/02/12 (Windows/32)
* Origin: Communication Connection (21:1/192)

With the exception of my youngest brother, the family I expected to come did. My one uncle with the anxiety issues like I have I didn't really expect.. I fought down several panic attacks myself that day.

Good - I feel for ya...

I know that it's understandable. but I know that to be perfectly honest, if I could figure out how to automate the DNS address update while I'm
on the mobile data, I probably would have left the BBS up. But I'm having diffiiculty finding software to do so in a Linux terminal. Everything seems to want a GUI these days.

So you might want to look at MeaTLoTioNs how-to about running a BBS on a cell phone. He used cell data and I know he had to setup the connection to stay up. It might be the same issue as you have. Its a PDF and is available on Quantum Wormhole, or even my BBS.

Its called like 'Running a BBS on a OnePlus Cell Phone'...



|07p|15AULIE|1142|07o
|08.........

--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A47 2021/02/12 (Raspberry Pi/32)
* Origin: 2o fOr beeRS bbs>>>20ForBeers.com:1337 (21:2/150)