Like nymphomaniacs...never satisfied.

You'd be surprised; some even complain they're getting too much -- just serves to prove that women are never satisfied/happy! Well, except for the wives of present company, of course!

Kraft is doing a similar kind of thing for Kraft peanut butter -- Girl
has whirlwind romance with French man of her dreams -- he finally
brings her to his home, after a fancy wedding, & she asks, "Honey,
where is the Kraft peanut butter?" & he replies, "What is Kraft peanut
butter" & the next scene has her on a plane alone, going back to
America.

LOL!! I was aware of Jif Peanut Butter, but not Kraft.

Jif does the same ad? Wouldn't surprise me if both companies are owned by the same parent.

Divorce is a vow tied with a slipknot. Folks who are wanting "a perfect marriage/relationship" in this life will never find it.

Yup,there'sno perfect spouse to be found. You search &search, putting yourself out there honestly, & you finally find one who's close enough for you to chose to commit to commit to working together with them for life, to maintain love and togetherness.

Those ex[ecting no fights in the perfect marriage are going to be sorely disappointed; it's not the fighting that indicates a problem, it's silence, or bad responding to fights.

Be mutually committed to working together in peace, love, & harmony, & you will; the fights tend to indicate a needf or change for both. If you committed to each other with all honesty & true commitment, then it's not very difficult to keep it going in a peaceful manner. . .

Like my parents, I keep in mind that divorce just isn't an option -- I promised to do all I could to keep us happily married til the Grim Reaper comres with his sickle to take one or both of us. She vowed & meant exactly the same. Maybeit's because we've both been married before & know the pain of it not working, that we were old & experienced enough to go into this marriage with open eyes & a desire to see it through.

I suspect we /tick/ each other off daily, but just choose not to take it too seriously. . .

On burning your mouth with a too-hot BBQ sauce--drinking Kool-Aid or water will only make the burn worse --you need dairy to neutralize the capsaicin; best, IMO, is a little sip of buttermilk. Or a bigger drink of whole milk, or in
between amount of drinkable plain yoghurt (the Indians use yoghurt in their cooking a lot to maintain a nice balance between heat & flavours)

That reminds me of the commercial with a weiner dog, saying "Oh,
antioxidants are good for me!! I thought you said anti-dachsunds". <G>

Eep! Poor pooch. . . Our dog shares my disdain for commercial factory-made food. He's now on strictly home-made food my wife cooks up for him (she cooks up a big batch in a 60-cup stockpot, then puts it into canning jars.

He gets 3% of his body weight each day, divided into two meals. . . Oh, he wolfs it down quickly, believe me! Even fastert han he did the canned crap we used to disguise the taste of is allergy medications.

And, I saw a meme with a man and a dachshund at a tavern bar...with
a martini of sorts next to them (I guess the dacshunds' was a weenie
martini with toilet water. <G>). The man said "Bond. James Bond"...
and the doxie replied "Hund. Dachs Hund". <G>

Digger Dawg! Rat-hund would've been a good name for the breed, too. . .

cuisine. However, with cost, I only order out once a month. I can't
see or understand how my brother can afford to eat out every day.

You're better off, not eating that commercial fecus! They mix salt, sugar, &fats to create a taste, with zero consideration of whether any of it is actually food or even good for humans. . .

IMO, McDonald's french fries are the best, compared to Burger King and Wendy's. For breakfast, I prefer the sausage egg McMuffin, with the hash browns...and the cheeseburgers for lunch.

I used to get the BLT bagel for breakfast, substituting an extras egg for the meat. & specifying leaf lettuce and slivered onion for the veggies -- for a nice healthy & tasty crunch. . .

My fave eating out breakfast now is, & it's arare treat indeed, is Tim Horton's Farmer's Wrap, customized (it's a large tortilla wrap, holding two eggs, a hashed browns, cheese, & a smidgen of lime-cilantro sauce) combo, with double chocolate doughnut (chocolate dough, chocolate icing) and a latte-mocha with extra shot of espresso. In my Contigo travel mug, it stays perfectly hot til past 5pm! So ideal for a day on the go, or at work. It hangs inside my cloth bag to the right of me, for easy access & no spillage, even if I keep the sippy part open for quick cooling off so I can guzzle the contents (the secret to using coffee to stay awake all day(or night) is, per some chemistry majors in loonyversity: very strong, very fast. Make it strong & down 'er quickly.

My morning "super coffee" at home, at my desk, contains the caffeine of an entire pot of coffee in each 6oz mugful. I rapidly drink two if I'm working all day. (I try to avoid that & pretend I'm on partial retirement -- much more fun!
& easier on the kidneys & liver!); 'course, I need to keep boosting my hourly rate to make up for the days & hours I can't be arsed to work, so I'm at $300/hour now, for uncontracted time. But, as I say in my upcoming book, "Everything, & I mean EVERY thing, is negotiable!"

Otherwise, I'll order from Burger King for the "Family Bundle" with
3 Whoppers, 3 cheeseburgers, and 3 french fries, for $20, via Grubhub.
Being a "Lyft Pink" member (paying $10 extra a month for Lyft), I get
free delivery for the Grubhub orders.

There you go; you make it work for YOUR needs & preferences & t'Hades with what their goals are! We don't use Uber (our preferred service for food, but my wife likes Lyft for taxi) enough to warrant paying the annual fee for premium standing (Uber One); we pay Amazon Prime, though, as we like the free same or next day delivery. . . & the occasional series on Prime Video.

Like you, we pick what WE find of value -- "We're Popes, not Dopes," as is our family motto!

With other bills, I may only do 6 months of the Post Office Box, or
let it go. Then, it's a PITA to notify all the businesses, etc. of
the address change...and I run the risk of folks stealing stuff out
of the mailbox...that's why I got the P.O. Box in the first place.

Sounds like you're best off as it is. . . What do you need to get at your PO Box? All bills & mail? (can't you go with online billing for your utilities, taxes, etc?)

I bet you double up errands, so if you're Lyfting in for one thing, you'll include a PO Box check while you're in town?

Living life like it's a luxury, but keeping one's eye on the bottom line -- that's WINNING!!!

ObPuns:
I'm so Frugal that I flip the paper plate over and use the other side before throwing away/

I'm so frugal that when someone kicks my ass, I clench my butt cheeks to keep the shoe.

My GrandmaÆs so frugal that when Grandpa died, she un-knit his sweaters so she could have the yarn back.

Tagline capable:
I'm so frugal that even Ebenezer Scrooge called me cheap! Your dad is so frugal he won't even spend time with you. I'm so frugal, I got married just for the rice! I'm so frugal I eat cereal with a fork so I can use the milk tomorrow

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

Do you know how Canada got its name?
The three guys who discovered it put some letters in a bag and decided to name the country after the letters they pulled out.
First guy: I got a "C", eh.
Second guy: I got an "N", eh.
Third guy: I got a "D", eh.
Or the the alternate idea which was that Canada was empty when the first
settlers arrived (or so they thought). So it was named: Can = container, nada
= nothing. Empty container. Sort of like a Doug and Bob Mackenzie show.

Of course, you do know the Bob & Doug McKenzie show was 100% American? It was on SCTV (Second City = Chicago)

The real, less funny reason for the name Canada is when explorers first met and talked with the Ojibwe Indians, they asked the local natives: "What is this place called" & the Indian answered "village"("kanata" which is the name of a village on that site in Ontario, still, just up or down the road from Adanac Canada backwards)

... You have two choices for dinner: Take it or Leave it.

I grew up like that & I turned out just fine -- but then we weren't primed to scream "abuse!" every time we didn't get our own way -- if we screamed at all, it was just to, essentially, request an arse-paddling, & then it was okay to cry, as we now had "something to cry about"

Not abuseat all -- good parenting & most of us learned how to behave in public including how not to become a criminal asshole. . .

Parenting through the ages:

(1)
"Hats off to the waiter that kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna."

(2)
Me: *on the toilet*
2yo: *banging on door* Daddy!! Daddy!!! DADDY!!!! Me: IÆm downstairs!
2yo: Oh... *runs off*
Me: Why have I not tried that before?

(3)
"Somehow IÆve lucked out and have an 8yo who thinks secretly reading under the covers past her bedtime is an act of rebellion, and it hasnÆt yet occurred to her that her flashlights never seem to run out of batteries."

(4)
Me: OMG WHAT THE HELL
Child: The news said itÆs more sanitary to sneeze into an elbow. Me: THEY MEAN YOUR OWN ELBOW

(FIN)


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

I love the Miracle Whip commercials. This guy was talking to this woman
on the phone, as she was to come over for a visit. When he admitted "I'm
out of Miracle Whip"....<CLICK!>. <G>

Yup, & she immediately flew back home -- serves her right if she's lonely the rest of her life. If she loved him, she'd have replied, "No problem, dear, I'll run out & get another jar for us."

& if he was looking for a relationship & love more serious than a one night hook-up, he'd not be alone the next night or three or a lifetime.. .

Q: What did the vegan say when they ate a plant based chicken nugget?
A: No harm because no fowl

He was all clucked up.

When I have one of the kid helping me shop, as we pass the fake meat section, they always exclaim, "EWWW!" & we hurry past to the real food sections.

I keep it simple: God made X; Man made Y -- guess which I'm going with?

Sugar over aspartame every time without fail.

Did you ever see Jeff Dunham's feud with Peanut, where Peanut could not access their home wi-fi?? Search for "Jeff Dunham Peanut Password Panic"
on YouTube.

After my kids are up, so I cam put the speakers on. . . I might've seen it -- I've seen so many of theirs - I own a copy of every TV special they've done. Good stuff to put on auto-play every now & again. . .

My kids love the "Jingle Bomb" one--their first Christmas special (in Iraq)

Q: What's inside a chicken nugget?
A: Nug guts

Appetite killer. :P

Only after you've seen how they're made (a bubbling cauldron(vat) of all the bones & crap they couldn't cut into actual pieces of chicken to sell, plus whteverthey swept or mopped up off the floor, I suspect. Boil it until thick & gelatinous, then extrude onto a big pan piece by piece, to be air-fried, with oil liberally sprayed through the hot air as they tumble-cook.

I love that Discovery show, "How It's Made"

My toddler asked me to give her chicken nuggets a checkup. After giving
all the nuggets a medical exam I realized my toddler was asking for
ketchup.

Best thing to dip those in.

Eww, no thanks -- I only use ketchup a time or two a year to put 2 drops on my chapped egg on toast.

Best dip for nuggets, I find, is Big Mac sauce but only if I'm having a Big Mac, otherwise they charge me 40c for a 2oz container of "extra Big Mac sauce" to dip my nuggets in, even when I point out that this is my choice for dip, instead of their other ones. If a manager is on, & I got time, I'll get it approved asa no charge item.

For fries I like a wee tub of McChicken sauce (also 40c if not ordered a McChicken); but I can get as many little plastic tube things of the sauce for free, so i just ask for help to cut then open put them into a paper ketchup container(fee at the ketchup pump); for a large, i'll get 2 filled to the top, for yummiest fry enjoyment...

True story, as a young teen (15 or 16) I was travelling & in a McDonalds I knew I'd never see again (I've never even been in that town again in the 40+ years since!), I asked the pretty young thing at the cash register for a "fur burger
& a side of thighs, please."

She stared at me, stunned, for a minute, then ran into the back crying (WTF? Lil Miss Sensitive that day, apparently. A big dude came up & asked me what I'd said to her; I sad I simply asked for a fish burger & a side of fries, please. He looked me up & down then said, "Alright, but take your order to go & don't ever come back here again."

Apparently he believed her over this scuzzy looking long-haired punk in front of him & professionally dealt with the problem. Kudos to him, I say. He didn't get into a "he said, she said" type discussion, he simply fixed the issue.

I've never done that jape again. . .

The first time I did it, I wrote up my own order form at the A&W I had worked at prior to my brain putting me in the hospital for a half year; also requesting a fur burger & a side of thighs -- I saw the girls giggling while trying to decipher my handwriting. I ended up with a fish burger & fries in my bag. I still have no idea if they understood what I wrote & punnily responded, or that's just how they interpreted my handwriting. I never asked. The one girl on shift knew I liked her, even though she was nearly too young by a year or so(for my personal taste, not by law) but she was fun to flirt with when it was slow at the restaurant, because she turned such a pretty shade of pink, & flirted back with cute giggles. . .

After I left town to recuperate for a year, I lost track of everybody, as the restaurant closed and was seized for bankruptcy soon after I left.

Oh well, made new friends since then. . . worked other jobs, contracts, etc. Got new neighbours a few times as I tried to increase my comfort at home. (bigger units in better areas)

You know you're in a bad Chicago neighborhood, when you realize you have to go north to find a McDonalds or Starbucks that doesn't smell like a crack house.

You know you're in a bad neighbourhood when you hear weapons fire every night as you drift off to sleep. (heard twice via Modesto, CA)

You know you're in a bad neighbourhood when you turn on the light to see what the noise was & you see 14 cockroaches gang-raping a rat.

You know you're in a bad hotel when you call the front desk to say, "I got a leak in my sink" & they just say, "Go ahead!" (this has actually happened to me at a place I paid for 5 weeks ahead of time to stay -- I had a room on the 3rd flor, above, the lobby, so I was as far as possible from the booming nightclubs on either side of the lobby (strip joint on the one side a "Meat Market" (meet market) dance club on the other -- Of course, I could still hear the booming [c]rap music, but not so bad I couldn't sleep enough to be ready for my 15-hour workdays six days a week, then 10-1 more hours on my one day off.

Adaptability -- Proof we're humans & here to survive -- in it to win it! That's one of my philosophies towards life.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

George Pope wrote to Dr. What <=-

Of course, you do know the Bob & Doug McKenzie show was 100% American?
It was on SCTV (Second City = Chicago)

Yes.

The rumor always was that Canada demanded that XX minutes of every show be "Pure Canadian Content" and that Bob and Doug were SCTV's answer to that. That's doesn't quite add up to me, but it's an fun rumor anyway.

The real, less funny reason for the name Canada is when explorers first met and talked with the Ojibwe Indians, they asked the local natives: "What is this place called" & the Indian answered "village"("kanata" which is the name of a village on that site in Ontario, still, just up
or down the road from Adanac Canada backwards)

But that explanation is less humorous than "I have a 'C', eh". :)

(2)
Me: *on the toilet*
2yo: *banging on door* Daddy!! Daddy!!! DADDY!!!! Me: I}m downstairs!
2yo: Oh... *runs off*
Me: Why have I not tried that before?

Sunday school teacher: Where does God live?
Timmy: In my bathroom!
Teacher: Why do you think that?
Timmy: Because every morning my dad comes down, bangs on the door and yells "God! Are you still in there?"


... Women who wear mini-skirts sure are cheeky folk.
=== MultiMail/Linux v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: *The Gate BBS*Shelby, NC USA*thegateb.synchro.net* (1:3634/27)

Sunday school teacher: Where does God live?
Timmy: In my bathroom!
Teacher: Why do you think that?
Timmy: Because every morning my dad comes down, bangs on the door and yells "God! Are you still in there?"

Daddy, Daddy, we almost lost Mommy today!
"How so?"
I heard mommy yelling, "Oh, God, I'm coming." I looked in your room & she had her feet in the air for the angels to grab, & if the mailman hadn't been holding her down, we'd have lost her for sure!

... Women who wear mini-skirts sure are cheeky folk.

Works for me! Except in Vancouver here there's a 50/50 chance of seeing balls hanging below the hemline if a mini skirt! (euuuggghhh!!!)

I did see a gal go by one time in the summer, with a skirt so short, I could see her meat curtains hanging below. Not as sexy as you might think, but interesting. . . She was pretty good looking, otherwise. . . I doubt she was even aware. . .

I've learned most women who show stuff (cheek, nip, etc) do so on purpose & are happy to get a complimentary(non-creepy) response. I first learned this from Dr. Isaac Asimov, & it's been true in my experience. I'm at that age where it's 50/50 whether my even looking or taking to these young ladies is "creepy."

Usually I do okay with my complements--wording them in such a way they feel unique & special ("just like everyone else!")

Tip: never tell a woman "That dress/shirt/pants looks nice on you"; always say, "You make that dress/skirt/pants/shirt look good!"

Not funny, but useful knowledge. . .okay funny time:

& 10 useful one-liner compliments:

1. YouÆre paws-itively amazing!
2. You light up the room like a chandelierùno need for electricity! 3. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
4. YouÆre so sweet, you could put HersheyÆs out of business! 5. If beauty were a crime, youÆd be serving a life sentence. 6. You must be a parking ticket, because youÆve got æFINEÆ written all over you!
7. Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future! 8. YouÆre like a cloudùwhen you disappear, the world is just a little less bright.
9. Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes. 10. YouÆre the reason I smile, even when IÆm not trying.

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)