I wouldn't want to be in that situation, either... but the point is that apparently each of them is satisfied with that sort of relationship...

A lot of people seem to be energized by sparring,
but often it's more than sparring. I'd go so far
as to say that even if it makes the relationship
work, it's not healthy if it gets serious or
happens all the time.

What I call bicker may be a little different than sparring... I don't
see much evidence of them being energized by it, more just a way of
relating to each other... but apparently with an underlayment of real
love and affection for each other...

There's a difference between a love tap and a
punch in the gut. If it's where it can be
witnessed by outsiders, I'd tend to judge
something as more on the lines of the latter.

In the case I've had intimate experience with,
my parents', long-term stable was not a good
thing. There are times when the difficulties of
a real situation trump a promise made in marriage.

There's stable and then there's stable... an eye-opener for me was at my grandma's funeral, when my Aunt Jackie stubbornly insisted that Uncle
Bill be in the funeral limo with her... because she needed him there
for his support... this after years of hearing nothing from her about
him except negative runnings down... you'd think she hated him... but underneath, there was still the love and connection...

I suppose that's heartwarming in a way. In
general, that game should not be played, though.

my parents had an entirely different sort of relationship... :)

For which everyone no doubt was thankful.

Yes and no... Theirs almost went pathological the other way... so
wrapped up in each other there was hardly any room for even their
kids... I don't ever remember them arguing, though, and that indeed is
much pleasanter... ;)

But you weren't neglected. I knew a girl (went
out with her for a while) whose parents were so
wrapped up in each other that they let her go off
and do whatever she wanted, with the expected
result - she had a child by a Famous Violinist
when she was 13. Not one's first choice behavior
on anyone's part except perhaps theirs at the moment.
She had a thing for violinists for a long time
after, to my (short-lived) benefit.

I'm seeing a broader spectrum of serious interest in Classical music within the younger generations, but then this is a hotbed of music instruction, with efforts to engage even inner city kids as well as the rest in serious music study.... :)

One of my committees is explicitly tasked with
that, and my view is not so sanguine.

Dunno... maybe it works better in Rochester than in Boston...? The
efforts with the inner city kids seem to be rather successful here...

Well, New England Conservatory is a pretty retrograde
institution, but there's Project STEP, which we used
to give money to. And perhaps I see the sausage being
made, and that colors my view.

Most nut allergies are more dramatic than many celiacs... but just in
our small church we have 3 very serious celiac cases, and another 3-4 or so mild to fairly serious cases... sufficient that now the bread for communion is all gluten-free... fortunately those that prepare, buy the good-quality bread... :) I've known a few others in different
settings... :)

Neither is easy.

True... any food allergy isn't particularly easy... and celiac and nut allergies are more likely to be life-threatening than most...

I've seen celiacs who have had life-threatening
consequences and others with much milder issues.

I'd be happy enough with the fried tofu... ;)

Of the versions I've had, some kind of chewy
protein seems to be very important to the balance
of the dish. Also MSG, but people don't talk about
that. Sometimes this latter comes in through the
guise of seaweed, oyster sauce, fu ru, or similar.

Naturally occurring doesn't bother me so much... :)

I'm not so sure about nonrefined always making a
difference over refined or overrefined.

It may be more quantity and concentration that might make the
difference...?

It's one of those who knows situations, clouded
by that much of the research has been funded by
the food industries.

---------- Recipe via Meal-Master (tm) v8.01

Title: Split Pea Soup with Sausage
Categories: Soups/stews
Yield: 6 servings

2 c Split peas; rinsed 1/2 ts Ground cumin, or to
taste
6 c Water 1 lb Pork sausage
1 ts Salt

Soak split peas in water 2 hours. Place peas with soaking water,
salt and cumin to taste in medium saucepan. Simmer, covered,
about
1 1/2 hours or until smooth and soft, stirring occasionally. Add more
water if needed for soupy consistency. Adjust seasonings to taste.

Just before serving, pan-fry chopped sausage until done. Serve soup
in
individual bowls. Sprinkle cooked sausage over soup. Makes 6
servings.

Each serving contains about: 515 calories; 918 mg sodium; 43 mg
cholesterol; 24 grams fat; 51 grams carbohydrates; 26 grams
protein;
2.47 grams fiber.

Printed in the December 17, 1992, issue of the Los Angeles Times.
Submitted
By LARRY BIBICH On MON, 12-06-93 (20:24)

-----
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* Origin: Fido Since 1991 | QWK by Web | BBS.DOCSPLACE.ORG (1:123/140)

Quoting Michael Loo to Nancy Backus on 07-31-18 08:13 <=-

A lot of people seem to be energized by sparring,
but often it's more than sparring. I'd go so far
as to say that even if it makes the relationship
work, it's not healthy if it gets serious or
happens all the time.

What I call bicker may be a little different than sparring... I don't
see much evidence of them being energized by it, more just a way of
relating to each other... but apparently with an underlayment of real
love and affection for each other...

There's a difference between a love tap and a
punch in the gut. If it's where it can be
witnessed by outsiders, I'd tend to judge
something as more on the lines of the latter.

Mind you, I don't condone the practice... In the family situations I'm
aware of, while I've seen in happen with extended family members to
witness it, I don't know that it happens with total outsiders... And
generally it isn't physical, just visceral...

In the case I've had intimate experience with,
my parents', long-term stable was not a good
thing. There are times when the difficulties of
a real situation trump a promise made in marriage.

There's stable and then there's stable... an eye-opener for me was at my grandma's funeral, when my Aunt Jackie stubbornly insisted that Uncle
Bill be in the funeral limo with her... because she needed him there
for his support... this after years of hearing nothing from her about
him except negative runnings down... you'd think she hated him... but underneath, there was still the love and connection...

I suppose that's heartwarming in a way. In
general, that game should not be played, though.

Agreed. My point was mostly that we might not know all the story of the relationship.... just the nasty parts we see...

my parents had an entirely different sort of relationship... :)

For which everyone no doubt was thankful.

Yes and no... Theirs almost went pathological the other way... so
wrapped up in each other there was hardly any room for even their
kids... I don't ever remember them arguing, though, and that indeed is
much pleasanter... ;)

But you weren't neglected. I knew a girl (went
out with her for a while) whose parents were so
wrapped up in each other that they let her go off
and do whatever she wanted, with the expected
result - she had a child by a Famous Violinist
when she was 13. Not one's first choice behavior
on anyone's part except perhaps theirs at the moment.
She had a thing for violinists for a long time
after, to my (short-lived) benefit.

That is indeed an even more extreme case of it... Dunno if our situation
might have gone that bad, had there not been so many of us, though... we
had to look after each other, so there was less likelihood that we'd go
off solo in destructive ways looking for the attention we needed... at
least at that age...

I'm seeing a broader spectrum of serious interest in Classical music within the younger generations, but then this is a hotbed of music instruction, with efforts to engage even inner city kids as well as the rest in serious music study.... :)

One of my committees is explicitly tasked with
that, and my view is not so sanguine.

Dunno... maybe it works better in Rochester than in Boston...? The
efforts with the inner city kids seem to be rather successful here...

Well, New England Conservatory is a pretty retrograde
institution, but there's Project STEP, which we used
to give money to. And perhaps I see the sausage being
made, and that colors my view.

Possibly... And I hear the upbeat interviews on how well things are
working... eating the sausage, so to speak...

of the dish. Also MSG, but people don't talk about
that. Sometimes this latter comes in through the
guise of seaweed, oyster sauce, fu ru, or similar.

Naturally occurring doesn't bother me so much... :)

I'm not so sure about nonrefined always making a
difference over refined or overrefined.

It may be more quantity and concentration that might make the
difference...?

It's one of those who knows situations, clouded
by that much of the research has been funded by
the food industries.

I hear you.. :)

ttyl neb

... Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

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